Thursday, January 7, 2010

"An Abandoned Soul Finds Happiness"


Yes...I'm playing in a torn apart car lol... and yes, to some people's standards, I'm probably way to old to be doing so .. but ya know what? I wanted to.

So, I'm 22 years old, knocking on 23's door and the only thing I know for certain in life is spiritual freedom, laughter and finding the little things that make you happy are worth every minute spent searching for. In this picture I had stumbled across an old run-down mini van (I think it was lol) however, seeing it sitting there in a vacant lot, with no doors , windows or more importantly...an owner- I immediately took full advantage of the amount of freedom I would have playing with this thing.

Honestly- how many times in life do you get not only the extra time, but the abandoned vehicle to play in? Never as a kid did I get to let my imagination run free in a destroyed car, so you bet your buttons I was all over that thing!

"Why does that seem so fun to you?" you ask. Well, fun is part of it ... the fun that I will get by just physically climbing through the thing, but more so, the fun that I receive while I take the mental journey through the van thinking, "I wonder who's this was...and who's before that...and I wonder if they had kids that climbed through this like I am?" It's kind of a different feeling when you think about it - that this was once a family's mode of transportation. If I was to see one of our family cars sitting rotting in a vacant lot ,I know old memories would be pouring out of my mind.

I guess it's just fun in a way because you know that no one is going to come out of their house yelling "get out of my van!"...so this freedom that comes with abandon property is simply awesome because of the fact that, the odds of you just knowing where an abandon car is -well one you can freely play in- are slim...so when you randomly find one it almost feels like it's yours for that moment in time, and that feeling is liberating! Not only is it the one time in your life that you own something that you never paid for ... but you can totally destroy it ...with no strings attached, you are not going to have to pick it up after you're done. It's just there. For you.

I think it fell under the topic of "things I never got to do" . More so than any, its a time where my imagination got to run wild. That's why I look so happy in the picture. That's why kids look so happy playing with toys. Their imagination is getting total freedom at that time. I have always loved the saying "Life is what you make it"... now do I always go by that? No. I wish I did however, sometimes I do...I would say most of the time, I do...but I find that statement to be so true. The idea of just letting loose and just going for something is an idea that we all have and enjoy thinking on. It's bold, it's risky...and you know what? I'm doing it!

I am 22 almost 23, I went to college for maybe half of a semester...haha. I have quit the majority of my jobs simply because I was not happy there. The reason I was never happy was because it was never something that was in me to do. (I bet for the most part you all can tell by my writing that I'm not a college graduate. Hahaha!)

I have a few things going for me that have been with me my entire life...and it is sad that it has taken me 23 years to find out what they were. I'm the type of guy that when I want to do something I will do it 110%. I am passionate about a few things and through those few things my passion shows. My number one passion in life is to know Jesus like His followers knew him. My number two passion in life is to reach some form of genuine happiness...I have always said I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and bitter. My art, making it , is another passion of mine. I have held back through the years in my art and I'm ashamed that I have. I let my worries about what people would think of me get in the way of what I produced. Instead of searching for the way I can portray my self through my art, I spent too much time looking for a way to hide my deepest secrets or feelings only to set up a false image for people of who I really was.

Art is an expression of what is inside a person. Like a smile is an expression of happiness. A picture, a painting...they are expressions of ideas, thoughts, and feelings someone holds deep within themselves. If those feelings, thoughts, etc. are never let out in a healthy manner, then you're only crippling yourself from becoming YOU. Honesty in who you are, what you feel, and how you think is a HUGE part in developing into one's self, and I think more people should give it a try. Considering we all started off as honest humans not knowing how to lie about what we did, what we thought, what we felt. Lying is a mask we put on when Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of "Knowledge of Good and Evil"

Now I know that following that action certain, curses applied and so on, I'm not saying I think we can erase what was done BUT... I am saying it makes life and yourself a lot easier to deal with, if you can just be honest. So, that's what I intend to accomplish in my own life by starting up this blog. I'm striving for a more honest heart and a more rewarding life because of it. I could of kept on walking past that gross looking van and hid the thought of how fun that would be to play in there. Instead, I laid down the thought of embarrassment and went for what I knew deep down would bring innocent joy to a moment in my life, and as you can tell from the picture...I'm one happy kid deep down. I love "Life"....after all...it is what you make it.

4 comments:

sherri said...

I admire your adventuresome side. Well, really, it's not a "side" at all...it's who you are! I'm glad to be along for the ride- you inspire me!

Jordan Ray Murphy said...

ya well ya know you cant be a stick in the mud for ever ...if youre that stick you gotta inspire to become like a slingshot or something else a stick can be.. gotta stay true to your nature but never in once place ;) love ya

sherri said...

A slingshot...LOVE IT!

Catherine said...

My all time favorite.