Wednesday, January 20, 2010

"Nightmare"

I was riding in the back seat of our families' old town car down an abandon road in the middle of the night, I'm 3 years old and holding a toy dinosaur in my lap. My brothers are sitting to my left and I'm by the door behind the passenger seat. The door immediately flies open and I fall out of the car and on to the road. To my surprise I'm not injured but more astonishing than that...my family does not notice a thing...and they keep driving off into the night.

I'm sitting there on my knees holding my toy in shock with what had just happened. Instantly fear surrounded me and I had never felt this kind of abandonment before in my life. I frantically search for someone close by to help me, but i find nothing but fields. I crawl a little ways and to my surprise there is a Hardee's drive thru window...the weird thing is, its just a window, and there is no sign on it to tell me its Hardee's I just knew that it was.

Behind that window is an 18 or so year old girl working. I crawl up to it to ask for help...but nothing comes out. Again with the fear, its cold and pierces straight threw my chest. In desperation I attempt to bang my toy on the glass to get her attention. She looks down at me with the blankest stare...chewing gum with her mouth open the entire time she lazily replies to my knocking with a " I'm sorry babe I cant help ya"...and turns around and walks off.

I remember the heavy feeling of desperation and loneliness that came upon me right after that. I had never felt so vulnerable and deserted in my life. "My family had no idea i was gone, or if they did they did not care about me enough to come back and look for me." I thought. It felt like my stomach had split wide open and I was exposed and cold and confused on top of all of that. I turn around and look up at the moon across the road and to my surprise...I see the picture that I have posted. It's my families car balanced perfectly on a power line eclipsing the moon. I knew then that I would never see my family again. That feeling that arose in me at that point was so horrible that it woke me up from the FIRST and worst nightmare I have EVER had, that I can remember. Yes, this all was a nightmare.

Why I remember this still, I have no idea. It has just stuck with me to this day. I was like 4 or 5 I think when I had experienced this. I have no idea what the meaning of this dream was. All I know is I rather die than to experience any of those feelings to that same caliber. I think that is why it woke me up...they say you can't die in a dream...I have found that to be true so far but im sure if that dream would of went on any longer I would of died for sure.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

Waking up is good! I could almost feel your terror.