"Desire"

This picture I drew up while listening to Bob Dylan's `Desire` album. What I tried to do in this one was create 3 images that went together to create 1 over all picture.

I'll start by saying that the album is amazing. When I was listening to it, I noticed it had a Mexican style to some of the songs, if not most of them. Enough so that I would say that album was heavily influenced by the culture one way or another.

So I will start explaining what I tried to capture. I don't know what scene you see when you look at this picture right off the bat, but like I said I merged 3 points of views into one, and here they are as I intended.

View 1: from the bottom of the page you see a sidewalk. Now let your eyes walk forward and step down off that sidewalk onto a dry& cracked dirt road. Looking over the old dusty street you see an old wooden clothes-line that stretches all the way across the road hanging poor laundry. On the far side of the street you then get to a shadowed "horizon" of a fire hydrant, a little fruit stand and some mounds of dirt or rock...then the big rock wall behind that, containing a few windows cut out of it.

Take a minute to look at the picture in the way that I just suggested.

View 2: starting from the sidewalk again at the bottom of the page...let your eyes go to the edge and then imagine that the big rock wall that was mentioned (in my last description) starts immediately at the edge of the side walk. Also imagine that the whole scene that I described in View one, is painted on the wall...and the top of the wall ends where the clouds and sky begin.

Again, take a moment to took at it in this perspective.

Lastly, View 3: start from the sun that is seen in the big cut out of the wall in the center of the page. Notice how the cut out resembles an acoustic guitar, the sun is then the middle hole on a guitar. The neck of the guitar runs from the right side of the cut out spot on the wall all the way up to the little tree that is on the other side of this natural rock wall, up at the top. The hat that you see blowing in the wind, is placed just above the guitar...where it would be if it were on the head of someone playing this "guitar". Go from the hat down to the clouds right below it. They take the formation of someone's arms if they were to be holding the guitar. Keep going down from there, the boots in the middle are placed there because that is about where the feet of a man would be that would be playing this guitar...I know they are not to scale but I didn't want to make it too obvious that I was trying to put an invisible man playing a guitar in the middle of this picture. =)

When I was listening to this album those colors came to mind...the burnt orange... against that bright blue sky... just think an old Mexican villa or something. For those who may not know this album has a lot of guitar strumming in it...which influenced the overall hidden guitar player.

I hope you understood what I was trying to explain...and more so.. I hope you enjoyed the over all turn out of this picture.

"Nightmare"

I was riding in the back seat of our families' old town car down an abandon road in the middle of the night, I'm 3 years old and holding a toy dinosaur in my lap. My brothers are sitting to my left and I'm by the door behind the passenger seat. The door immediately flies open and I fall out of the car and on to the road. To my surprise I'm not injured but more astonishing than that...my family does not notice a thing...and they keep driving off into the night.

I'm sitting there on my knees holding my toy in shock with what had just happened. Instantly fear surrounded me and I had never felt this kind of abandonment before in my life. I frantically search for someone close by to help me, but i find nothing but fields. I crawl a little ways and to my surprise there is a Hardee's drive thru window...the weird thing is, its just a window, and there is no sign on it to tell me its Hardee's I just knew that it was.

Behind that window is an 18 or so year old girl working. I crawl up to it to ask for help...but nothing comes out. Again with the fear, its cold and pierces straight threw my chest. In desperation I attempt to bang my toy on the glass to get her attention. She looks down at me with the blankest stare...chewing gum with her mouth open the entire time she lazily replies to my knocking with a " I'm sorry babe I cant help ya"...and turns around and walks off.

I remember the heavy feeling of desperation and loneliness that came upon me right after that. I had never felt so vulnerable and deserted in my life. "My family had no idea i was gone, or if they did they did not care about me enough to come back and look for me." I thought. It felt like my stomach had split wide open and I was exposed and cold and confused on top of all of that. I turn around and look up at the moon across the road and to my surprise...I see the picture that I have posted. It's my families car balanced perfectly on a power line eclipsing the moon. I knew then that I would never see my family again. That feeling that arose in me at that point was so horrible that it woke me up from the FIRST and worst nightmare I have EVER had, that I can remember. Yes, this all was a nightmare.

Why I remember this still, I have no idea. It has just stuck with me to this day. I was like 4 or 5 I think when I had experienced this. I have no idea what the meaning of this dream was. All I know is I rather die than to experience any of those feelings to that same caliber. I think that is why it woke me up...they say you can't die in a dream...I have found that to be true so far but im sure if that dream would of went on any longer I would of died for sure.

"Never in One Spot ...Forever in My Heart"

This is a combination of my art work and a true story.

A little over a year ago I was about 30 minutes south of where I live at a friend's house. At the time me and the friend were doing discipleship training out of the NIV's One Year Bible.


Well later that night after it was all over with. I was heading home and got to the old familiar fork in the road that I would hit every week leaving his house. Now, I'm not one of those people that just go the same way every time out of habit. If I go the same way, it's because it's more practical than going the other. That being said... I have no idea why I chose the "other way" that night, but I did, and I'm so glad.

I was pulling on the interstate to head back home and on the On Ramp my headlights shine on this man walking with his thumb out. So I started to think about picking him up-cuz after all why in the world was I wasting my time driving 30 minutes a week to study all that I was and never put "Jesus" to practice. I quickly sized the man up and realized... IF...worst came to worst, I would be OK and able to manage my self against this stranger.

So I say, " AH...I'll go for it"... so I pull over and pick him up. I drive a little truck so I told him to throw his bags in the back and sit in the cab with me. After all I had no idea what he had in those bags so, I didn't want to take any chances, ya know? So, he does just that, and I'm trying to just focus on this guy's need more than anything else. We start talking and I tell him that I'm only able to take him a few exits north.. because I gotta get home and up for work the next day, and he was ok with that.

We get in to town and after engaging in 30 minutes of conversation with the man, I thought it was only appropriate to see if he was hungry, so I offer him some food (in hopes to maybe fulfill another need of his, considering how late it was and his location when I picked him up-not a restaurant in site). We got to Hardees and I go a head pay for his food in case he didn't have money. So we eat and delight in more conversation. I then get a call from my friends telling me that they are hanging up town for a bit, so I decided to go see them...and yes... with the "Dude".

After a bit of "hanging out" lol...me and the "Hitch-hiker" are then just driving around and I ask him where he is headed off to tonight after I drop him off, and he replies with out hesitation..."ahh, I'm just gonna crash under the over pass and head out tomorrow...it's getting too late to walk anymore." ...Now, I had been hanging out with this guy all night and I never saw any strings attached from his words to my heart, until that last sentence.

Now if i were to have a book of "codes" along the lines of "codes of conduct" these two would be on the first page: 1. never walk in the rain, nor LET any one else walk in the rain. and 2. NEVER let any other human sleep on concrete under an overpass!. hahaha... I dont even know if sleep can even be achieved in such conditions. However, after he told me that, I offered him a bed/fold up mattress that I had. lol. During our dinner conversation, I had noticed that he was talking about how a photographer once asked to take his picture while he was flying his sign. The man said yes and allowed the college student to do so. Well, I then asked him if he would care if I did as well, after all he was going to make for a great subject. He allowed me to and was thrilled because he was planning on giving his brother the copy.

As the night ended, we popped in the 1987 Batman, ya know the on with Jack Nicholson as the "Joker", haha well based on what the guy told me... it had been a month since he last watched ANYTHING...so I figured, "alright! =) we are watching this!" The night ends and the morning comes and we go our separate ways. His name was Henry Wiley and he was headed to Aurora Illinois. He is also the man in the picture at the top of my post. He was a great guest and a very adventurous soul. He LOVED traveling the way he did and had a ton of priceless stories. He also was a walking GPS ha ha ha. I guess I should of seen that last one coming right? =)

But, I created this picture a while after that night...the story tells you all the meaning of it, so I don't have a lot too this left to explain... it's more just set up like an old memory with a timeless feeling to it... I have no idea where he is today. Sadly, I lost the information he gave me that had his brother's address on it ... so I could mail him that picture... I don't think I have felt so horrible in my life about something. However, I know my actions that night met some needs in that man's life, may it be the ride, the food, the conversation, or just the shelter...or hey- could have been that Batman Movie haha... but in all seriousness, I did my best fighting against "paranoia"..."fear"...and the "what people would say", just to give this guy ONE piece of comfort in his life. Even if it were only for a few hours total.

One of my favorite scriptures..."what ever you have done for the least of these...you have done unto me"-Jesus

"Pride"

This one is part of a "Seven Deadly Sins" series that I'm doing but have not finished yet. I tried to capture the effects of pride from what I knew first hand.

The young man in the picture has reached his limit with the demon. He is balled up on his knees grabbing his face and hair out of torment, because he realizes what the demon has to offer him ...and that is truly nothing but a form of pain.

If you look at where the character is sitting in the room he is in, you will see that he is just about in the corner. That is to just symbolize discomfort in his life. I don't know anyone who "likes" being in corners lol...physically or metaphorically. To show more discomfort, I put him on his knees on a hardwood floor in dark spot, again to give you this idea that he has lived some sort of life before he arrived where he is at in this picture. His life has reached a crucial point...he is realizing how he is living is not working and , or some how ended up very alone and tormented.

Now, I view pride as a demon that dwells in or tries to influence people, or has influenced all of us. I love the "Pride comes before the fall" scripture...because I have found it to be so true. In this picture "Pride" has reached his full potential in the man and is pulling himself out to show himself off. Pride is proud, arrogant, and boastful. Those are traits that we all hate but coincidentally enough, traits we tend to carry ourselves. In the picture "Pride" is attempting to fill the room with his presence, hands on his side with his chest out bowing "hot air" to stay true to his nature. Notice that he is still attached to the man though...

Like I had mentioned before, the man is at a crucial point in his life. Although he has came to the realization he has been overtaken by this sin, that still does not rid himself from it. I believe, not only by observations on other people, but first hand that the only way possible to rid yourself of any demon that can attach its self to your personality or lifestyle, is out of our power range for the most part. I believe we can do nothing with out the help of Christ in our lives...at least nothing that produces any good healthy fruit for yourself or others.

If I look back on my life and moments or occasions where I've "risen to the top", I have always seemed to "fall back to the bottom" somehow. Sometimes this is hard for me because I will think it over and a lot of times and overlook what actually made me take that fall back down. Other times it's been a little more obvious. After time goes by and a ton of pondering ...lol. I can see clearer at what it was that led me down that path... and I have to be honest with myself and accept the fact that I either gave in to pride at some point... or tried it out, however you wanna look at it.

Pride is one of those things too where it takes the effect of walking away from the dinner table with the table cloth stuck in the back of your pants. (don't ask me how it got there just pretend it is there). So imagine this with me if you will. You get up from the table and walk away from everyone else not realizing what is actually attached to ya because you are only thinking of building up yourself... so you walk off with your chin held high saying " Look at ME, look at what I did, what about ME?!, look at ME, cant stop ME", all these things we as humans have thought...the danger of only looking inward to yourself is, you tend to miss what is actually going on around you. You get up.... walk off with that table cloth still stuck to you...and leave a mess that every one else has to live with or experience as well...and a trail of some kind of destruction behind you. That could be physical or emotional...but is destruction nonetheless.

Its funny to me how many warning signs we all get in life to prevent us from thinking or acting in this way too. For instance: "there is no I in team"...those old "trust exercises"...if you don't know what those are, I'll tell ya: it's where one person stands on something high and they have a group of people underneath them. They then turn around where they cant see the people below and fall back...in hopes they catch will catch 'em. If you think about it ... any work environment you have ever been in... if they could do everything themselves...(the boss that is) then they wouldn't need to hire anyone. Right? lol . Its these small observations in life that can help you a ton, like I have said before...I haven't finished one semester in college and I'm able to see this...so I know anyone with half a brain can agree with me here and realize life isn't JUST about us. Fellowship with other people, caring for other people, and just straight up practicing that "GOLDEN RULE" we are all taught when we were little..."do unto other as you would have them do unto you",can help your life out tremendously.

Why we tend to think we can do it all by ourselves, I'll never understand. It's ironic that there are men and women with such intelligence about everything... but somehow can still miss the simple equations in life, and the most effective I think, too. The equation is this... I'm obviously not alone on this planet, so me not thinking or caring only of myself gives room for me to think or care about at LEAST 1 other person walking this great earth. If I do this ...and my "neighbor" does this as well...then we got now 4 "people just like that" that are going to be touched by this in some way...and it keeps growing.

"Stupid theory" you say?...well seems to me we already do that equation just backwards...we are taught now from day one to think and "take care" of ourselves first...the problem with that is ...we aren't able to meet ALL of our own needs...and when you think you can do it all, and push so hard to get that message out for all to see, and they see it...... people say, "OK" he's got it ... let's go"... and they leave. That then leaves you in the "Characters" place in my picture...and when you end up at the bottom, you got no choice but to look up, and ask for help ...and HE will come to your aid...He's been there the whole time... it's just hard to see when you're looking at yourself the entire time.

"Eternity"

Ok...this is a fun one =). I'm just going to jump right into it.

So, the man in the middle is " you and me". Everything you see before him is representing life and all its choices, but more importantly, the outcome of those choices.

One of my favorite Bible verse's is "wide is the path that leads to destruction and narrow is the path that leads to life, and few will find it."(Now I don't know if that is verbatim, lol ... most likely not... however, I know that I'm very close).

Now, the man-who is naturally a "human", has chains that are coming from the back of him to show that ALL human kind is born into a sinful nature, no "buts" about it. If you look at the curvature of the chains, you will see that they bend to the left of the picture, or toward the road. I also tried to make the road (or that side of the picture) be where your eyes go to naturally when you first look at this picture. The reason behind that is simple, and I'll get to it in a minute. As you may have guessed by now, the road is to represent the "wide path" that the scripture was referring to.

Now, since the scripture lets us know that only few will find the narrow path, we have to take in the fact that a vast majority will take the wide path. That is why I tried to make your attention go to that side of the picture first, I mean , considering more people are going to choose that path, based on the scripture. So, the scripture says the wide path leads to destruction-if you look in the shadows of that "highway" you will see to the left of the road are a couple of skulls, those are to represent death...or destruction. Also the burning glow of the sky over the horizon of the road is giving you the idea that there is something beyond your view here. As if, when you take this road you wont see it until you walk the length of it, however the skulls act also as a warning to you on your way down.

The tree is there on the right side of the road to give you a false sense of "life" if you were to choose that path. After all, that is what deception does to a person...gives them a false sense of what ever they need.

Now, on the right side of this picture, up closer to the man, you will notice the bent street sign pointing "up" on it. That is representing the narrow path that the scripture talks about. Notice too, how much closer it seems to the man-like if you were physically in this situation, you would only have to take like a few steps to get to your destination if you were to walk toward the sign, right?...opposed to the length you would have to go to get to your destination if you were to choose the road. Obviously, this path and the scripture is talking about Jesus, and following Him and His walk. That is one reason why I made that path feel so close to the man... or "us".

Scripture is very clear about how the Lord is right next to us inviting us to take His hand and walk with Him. And also, how the wicked lurk in the shadows waiting for an innocent soul to destroy.

The bright light at the top is to represent eternity in Heaven, now if you pay attention to the bent sign's shadow... you will notice that the shadow is straight and not all crooked like the post casting it. I did that because there are a few other verse's that talk about "straight is the path that leads to righteousness", and even other variations of the verse that I chose for this picture might say "straight" instead of narrow... or something along those lines, but I think you get it...lol.

Also, one thing that attracts me to Jesus is how the Bible says that He was not a very attractive man and how the Pharisees hated Him because He was "unorthodox" compared to their standards. So I made the sign all bent looking to give off ,at first impression, that this is an unattractive route-but I made its shadow from the "pure" light of God show you that if you search for it...you will see that regardless of its looks, its nature is straight and almost hidden from your "normal" way of thinking.

And that's what I take from the scripture-"...and few will find it". Jesus is right there in front of us, and all we have to do is slow down (be still) and really look at the warning signs that are posted all along the road that we all choose. Why do we all choose that path?-because it is our nature to...look at the chains, we are born into it. If you look closer at those chains you will see that they are not securely attached at all to us ... and the Lord has told us to lay them down and follow Him-because he has already paid the locksmith to undo them...He just did it when we weren't looking. So we don't believe Him, but that is where having faith and trusting in him will get us where we are intended...right next to Him.

So believe all this or not... it's your choice, always has been...however, it does not change the fact that He is so near and whispering the entire time for us to slow down on this highway of life and actually watch where we are going.

" The Daydreamer"

This is one of my favorites that I have done.

One night I was sitting there thinking about how your mind just works and why it does half of the things it does, and why. I then started thinking about daydreaming just a topic...ya know? Well I then became kinda fascinated with the idea and started to get this mental picture of how I would see that action being portrayed...so I then ran and grabbed my sketch pad and began drawing the character that you see here.

When I was drawing it...I was trying to portray just a unique character to represent a person with no identity...or how about this...imagine thinking up a character to represent your "mind" but putting it in a sense of human form so you can still identify with it...make sense?... I hope, otherwise I'm going to feel real crazy haha...anyways, that is what he is representing.

All the swirls on his head represent individual thoughts and ideas... memories and emotions. If you remember me saying in that "Mural of My Mind" post that when I use any kind of swirl in a picture, it is to portray some kind of a process or a "flow". So the swirls in this picture do that same thing.

Now the colors I chose where literally the colors I was seeing in my own head when I would think about daydreaming. To me they send off this "timeless" vibe of being in an alternate world or realm, as is your mind when daydreaming. Also his mannerisms of just being chill and content with where he is at...just lounging in the grass in this world he is creating.

I think if you look at this picture as if the plant in his had just popped up in his grasp you will get a better understanding of how the whole feel of this is intended. And the same thing with the background, the tree and the cloud...imagine this picture is just one of many out of a series of still framed shots from a video, and in this video the dude is just sitting there in this big blank space of color with that giant swirl in the sky. The giant swirl represents the process of his world being created at the same time.

I never understood teachers getting on to students for daydreaming in class, haha ,they always acted like they were never getting anything accomplished ;)

The mind is one of the most fascinating things to me and there are a ton a reasons why: it is so mysterious for one, we only use like a third of our brain , and two....makes me then wonder what the rest is for... or what a human actually has the ability to do ...or once had the ability to do.

I'm a potential "see'er" lol...so if you give me room to walk...I'll run through it. That's how I see the mind, with all this potential to become something greater than what is shown. Which still then would be simply amazing, because of how complex just a third of it is! I couldn't imagine the original intent for the brain was before we either crippled the remaining two thirds or before God shut it down on behalf of his curses he dropped on mankind for being so stupid, haha.
I heard that at some point in my life, that it was part of the curse after Adam & Eve...now I'm not saying either way but... I think it is interesting as can be and is worth daydreaming about.

Lust

I know some of you may have already read this from my mom's post, Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See
...however, it's my art so I'm posting it as well =).

This was also intended for the "Seven Deadly Sins" collection.

Lust usually begins visually...more often with men, as they gaze upon the body of a woman. If you'll notice, your eyes immediately go to the breasts- because the body is what lust is interested in. She has no eyes because the missing eyes represent no identity- it doesn't matter who she is- lust is not interested in the person.

We notice the breasts before we notice she has no eyes! (just to prove a point). The large eyes in the upper left corner, represent the second force which is more powerful than man's will- which is EVIL. It is Controlling.

The woman has the male heart in her hand because that what lust takes from a man- it has a hold on him. The red- represents a demon. The evil behind it all.

"Baby ..No"

This is an overall representation of the path that we as a society are setting up for our young women...

Women today are held up on this pedestal for all the wrong reasons, and I do believe its affecting not only men, but women as well. Men tend to push this idea of "this is how a woman should act, look, and turn out"... no more than eye candy, in other words..

Now think back to when that "woman" was only a child...a precious little girl who needs her daddy for more reasons than the daddy may know. I find it sickly ironic, but more on the sad side, that the very thing that a little girl needs more of at times,is the same thing that ends up putting her on this empty journey through life to never develop and find herself- but to cripple the inner growth so that she can become a sex symbol for men

Lust is convenient for everybody, you get what you want- then leave...I'm guilty of it and I bet that there is a "jermX" amount of people that are as well ( 99.9%) And speaking of convenience, nothing says convenience more than city life- that's why you see the skyscrapers in the background .Also, the motto "sex sells"is the the idea behind all the marketing pitches behind the stuff we are buying our little ones. This is sad!.. so....
in this picture the woman hovering at the top is a visual of what I see as a seductive spirit just content on where she sits... right over a "city", or the idea of civilization as a whole.

Now we are used to seeing a woman with luscious lips, smooth skin "catty"/ sexy eyes...long full head of hair and a seductive expression of their faces...this is in every make-up ad, every shampoo commercial and every other visual of a woman trying to get the attention of a man. Now thinking of that, go back to the little girl... at the bottom of the picture. In her daddy's t-shirt holding her bear, she is drawn to look hesitant- like she knows better than we do that this is not where she wants to go ,but judging by the rock walls on each side of her, she really has no choice.

The subject of sex has so many layers to it that I believe people do not see... they think of the immediate action that follows the word... they do not think of long term effects ...outward effects and internal effects... what it does to a person's character...their way of thinking .. their purpose.

Women, I believe, are to be a beautiful creation, vsually stimulating for a man- but not to stop there. There is so much more to a woman that needs to be watered and grown in order to fully develop into a righteous woman.... one viewed with respect, with radiating beauty... inside and out... and also grace- and a form of elegance. When witnessed, the only word to describe her is ..."WOMAN"... just how being a male the best compliment I think there is to receive is being called a "MAN"...I can only imagine it being the same for a woman....not "hott", or any other superficial temporary compliment that comes from a man to get what he wants....which is only the surface of a woman... ( see lust drawing for more explanations)

I also typed this pretty fast so if some of it is unclear... just ask me to explain better and I would be more than happy to =)

"Everything is in Season"

This picture is pretty special to me for a few reasons. I will explain the reasons here shortly, but first I would like to explain to you what this picture is.

There was a time within this past year where my good friend and I were really digging into some scripture...he was reading in the book of Job and I was listening to him read the part at the end where God is talking to Job and telling him " where he stands" regarding Job's initial comment to God. It starts talking a lot about nature and a sense of order comes to mind about how it was all put together. It was very inspiring to me so I started creating as well, the first chance I got, ya know, while the ideas were still hot. So here's what I did: I took a blank "canvas" or sheet of paper and "split the sky from the sea" or ... drew the horizon.

Immediately placing the sun for light, I then proceeded to draw the little seed just below the earth's surface. After that I put the clouds in the sky and started with the rain drops falling to the ground to water that seed. Following that, I cracked the seed and started expanding the roots into the ground , then started the growth of the seed up into the trunk of the tree. On up it went, into bare branches. All the meanwhile placing blades of grass covering the ground, trying to time it perfectly to where the tree would be at it's maximum height by the time the horizon was covered with grass. I often wonder what season God made first...so I then started with the only season I knew to start from scratch with...Spring!

I brought in more rain, the lightning and heavier clouds. Which then started the growth of the leaves on the tree...which then lead to the leaves falling off the tree and turning to Autumn. After that, I then started to make snowflakes falling from the clouds onto the tree, and unto the ground. I had drawn all that on paper then I took a picture of it...pulled in into my computer and began the process all over again, but this time, I was filling in color, and replacing some sketches of actual photos of clouds that I had personally taken.

I replaced the drawn lightning for a more "realistic" looking type which was a slow shutter result after taking a picture of a light. So I recycled some old pictures I had to recreate this mental picture I had in mind all along.

I said this picture was special to me because of a few reasons...obviously the way I made this is one ,if not a couple of reasons why, however, what I'm about to tell you is true- as I am typing this.

We were at a Bible study one night and people were just playing some music and I was sitting there with a pen and a pad thinking -while all of this worship was going on... and suddenly with out missing a beat, I started drawing this same scene all over again (mind you, this was the third time I had drawn this same scene). Naturally, I was a little burnt out on it when I realized what I was drawing ... however, I just went with it.

I then started to get these short sentences coming to mind and I didn't know what else to do but write them down in random places. At the end of the music session my paper was covered and here is what it read...

" Everything is in season- like we water a seed to crack open and cling tightly to its natural dwelling place, as should you water your hearts, so they may crack open and cling tightly to its natural dwelling place...into the hands of the Father-our Creator ". Having said all that...I will say this ... this is a special piece of art.

"An Abandoned Soul Finds Happiness"

Yes...I'm playing in a torn apart car lol... and yes, to some people's standards, I'm probably way to old to be doing so .. but ya know what? I wanted to.

So, I'm 22 years old, knocking on 23's door and the only thing I know for certain in life is spiritual freedom, laughter and finding the little things that make you happy are worth every minute spent searching for. In this picture I had stumbled across an old run-down mini van (I think it was lol) however, seeing it sitting there in a vacant lot, with no doors , windows or more importantly...an owner- I immediately took full advantage of the amount of freedom I would have playing with this thing.

Honestly- how many times in life do you get not only the extra time, but the abandoned vehicle to play in? Never as a kid did I get to let my imagination run free in a destroyed car, so you bet your buttons I was all over that thing!

"Why does that seem so fun to you?" you ask. Well, fun is part of it ... the fun that I will get by just physically climbing through the thing, but more so, the fun that I receive while I take the mental journey through the van thinking, "I wonder who's this was...and who's before that...and I wonder if they had kids that climbed through this like I am?" It's kind of a different feeling when you think about it - that this was once a family's mode of transportation. If I was to see one of our family cars sitting rotting in a vacant lot ,I know old memories would be pouring out of my mind.

I guess it's just fun in a way because you know that no one is going to come out of their house yelling "get out of my van!"...so this freedom that comes with abandon property is simply awesome because of the fact that, the odds of you just knowing where an abandon car is -well one you can freely play in- are slim...so when you randomly find one it almost feels like it's yours for that moment in time, and that feeling is liberating! Not only is it the one time in your life that you own something that you never paid for ... but you can totally destroy it ...with no strings attached, you are not going to have to pick it up after you're done. It's just there. For you.

I think it fell under the topic of "things I never got to do" . More so than any, its a time where my imagination got to run wild. That's why I look so happy in the picture. That's why kids look so happy playing with toys. Their imagination is getting total freedom at that time. I have always loved the saying "Life is what you make it"... now do I always go by that? No. I wish I did however, sometimes I do...I would say most of the time, I do...but I find that statement to be so true. The idea of just letting loose and just going for something is an idea that we all have and enjoy thinking on. It's bold, it's risky...and you know what? I'm doing it!

I am 22 almost 23, I went to college for maybe half of a semester...haha. I have quit the majority of my jobs simply because I was not happy there. The reason I was never happy was because it was never something that was in me to do. (I bet for the most part you all can tell by my writing that I'm not a college graduate. Hahaha!)

I have a few things going for me that have been with me my entire life...and it is sad that it has taken me 23 years to find out what they were. I'm the type of guy that when I want to do something I will do it 110%. I am passionate about a few things and through those few things my passion shows. My number one passion in life is to know Jesus like His followers knew him. My number two passion in life is to reach some form of genuine happiness...I have always said I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and bitter. My art, making it , is another passion of mine. I have held back through the years in my art and I'm ashamed that I have. I let my worries about what people would think of me get in the way of what I produced. Instead of searching for the way I can portray my self through my art, I spent too much time looking for a way to hide my deepest secrets or feelings only to set up a false image for people of who I really was.

Art is an expression of what is inside a person. Like a smile is an expression of happiness. A picture, a painting...they are expressions of ideas, thoughts, and feelings someone holds deep within themselves. If those feelings, thoughts, etc. are never let out in a healthy manner, then you're only crippling yourself from becoming YOU. Honesty in who you are, what you feel, and how you think is a HUGE part in developing into one's self, and I think more people should give it a try. Considering we all started off as honest humans not knowing how to lie about what we did, what we thought, what we felt. Lying is a mask we put on when Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of "Knowledge of Good and Evil"

Now I know that following that action certain, curses applied and so on, I'm not saying I think we can erase what was done BUT... I am saying it makes life and yourself a lot easier to deal with, if you can just be honest. So, that's what I intend to accomplish in my own life by starting up this blog. I'm striving for a more honest heart and a more rewarding life because of it. I could of kept on walking past that gross looking van and hid the thought of how fun that would be to play in there. Instead, I laid down the thought of embarrassment and went for what I knew deep down would bring innocent joy to a moment in my life, and as you can tell from the picture...I'm one happy kid deep down. I love "Life"....after all...it is what you make it.

"Mural of My Mind"

This is a mural that I have painted in my apartment.
This is also a pretty good explanation of how my mind works. The large red object in the middle represents a brain... the faintly colored green "hooks" flickering out and away from it...are thoughts or ideas. I chose the color red for the brain because 1: It's a muscle...but more so because of the amount of strain that I feel my mind goes through while producing a picture, not a bad strain but a productive one. I chose green on the thoughts because thoughts or ideas should be always fresh and new... like a baby plant in a way, they all start from something however they have the potential to grow into something amazing.

As for the entire picture itself, it is a scene or a world that the brain is creating. Some things in the picture are completely colored in and "finished" as for others, they are in the process of being created. I did that so it would give you a more present-tense feeling to the picture.. like you were sitting in and watching this all happening.

I have this weird obsession with desert rock formations, I think there is so much beauty that radiates out from the desolate earth, untouched, unharmed...just sitting there with its natural wear and tear from time. No roads, no power lines, nothing from "man" just raw beauty. That is why I chose to paint a desert scene to be created here in this picture.

Now as for the swirls in the picture... will will notice two of them. When a person thinks on a topic, what ever it may be, there is always alternate routes that their mind can travel down to relate them to another topic or place in time. That is what the swirls are...they are "mind portals" in a way. If you were to choose to go through one of those, you may end up some where else , somehow related to a desert. Whether it may be a memory of the Grand Canyon, or a clip from a movie you have seen that had a cool desert scene in it, the swirls are the gateways to those thoughts. I also chose swirls because I think they are a good representation of "a process" of something happening.

I also painted this with one sock, some charcoal and my fingers. I hope you enjoyed this one as well. Thanks for reading this and spending the time to get to know me and my art.

"The Believer In Me"

Since this is my first post, I thought it would be appropriate to start off with a piece of art that would kinda help explain a little about me ... probably the biggest part of me. This one I titled "The Believer In Me". This picture was taken at a time of the day when the sun was in the western sky. Based on the shadow of the middle "character" you will notice that the light source seen in the sky is not the primary source of light. Also this picture was taken facing the east, the glowing orb that is shown in the eastern sky is to represent Jesus' return. The "characters" are all me at different stages in my life regarding where I have been spiritually.

We will start with the one in the far back: this one is me being completely lost and consumed in all that the world has to offer. As you notice my head is down facing away from what is happening, I'm on my cell phone simply not paying any attention to what is going on. Now look at the "character" on the far right in the green and gray. This is me hearing about Jesus and just catching so much as an ear full here and there, but ultimately still clueless and searching for something.

The "character" in front of him on the front right, represents me at a stage in my life where I was "awakened" spiritually...found out Jesus was who He said He was and I became aware of what He can and will do. Now, the "me" in the front, facing the camera for the most part, represents me when I became "religious"...simply trying to present myself as "good" as possible...the look of arrogance on my face with my chin held high and of course ,the Bible in my right hand...symbolizes me "having it all together" -which I believe,more people than you may realize, go through this stage in their life.

It's a bitter-sweet place in my life because I see the danger in thinking and acting like that. I put "Me" first instead of Jesus...and by looking at this picture, "me" then, would have missed Jesus too. Now brings me to the "sweet" part of that stage because it led me to where I am now ... I'm the one in the middle, my heart humbled with nothing to offer but myself. Do not allow this to present myself to you in the manner of me "having it all together" because I do not... however.. my realizing where I am- being a sinner and accepting the fact that I NEED a Savior, is worth everything I believe.

This picture was inspired by the book of Revelation and what's to come...so this is my symbol of where I've been spiritually and the start of the posting of "My Story, My Struggle, and My Art". Through each picture I will post, they will hold a deep meaning, feeling, or explanation of where I have been at some point in my life...hopefully allowing you to know me more and allow me to share with you my heart, honesty, and truth that I have stumbled across in this messed up journey we call life. Thanks for your time and patience.